Ok my belles, I got back from my mini holiday, and I had lost 3lbs :)
Now I'm going to France and I would dearly love to join the other skinny, beautiful girls going and wear a bikini and go swimming, but I'm just too damn self conscious. It's so upsetting not being able to go swimming and tanning and have fun because I feel too fat, but it's motivation - I CAN'T feel like this when the summer holidays come!
Let's see how much weight I can lose in a week in France, hmm?
Stay skinny :)
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Friday 15 April 2011
Saturday 9 April 2011
Mini Holiday
Ok, so I'm going away for a tiny bit - just three days, in the UK, some boring music course. I suppose that the good thing is that I won't really have any time to think about food. The downside is that my friends will notice if I don't eat at our designated meal times, but I am a master of pushing my food around the plate and making it look like I've eaten something. I'll see how much I lose over the next few days, although I won't be able to do any exercise.
I'm back for a day, then I'm going to France until Easter Sunday. It will be hot there, but I don't think I can wear a bikini - I have too many insecurities for that. Ohhhhhh my god, it's freaking summer already and I'm still not totally confident in a bikini! I NEED to get my act together. Ok, I'll eat barely anything over this holiday, and gym regularly.
Oooh, I saw an elliptical/cross trainer online for £89.00! Considering most models are well into the thousands, that's amazing! I really really want one for my room (although I have no space, ha), so I'm considering:
a) begging my parents
b) just buying my own - sure, it's my money, but it would so be worth it, right?
Here's a link, it's the one right at the bottom: http://www.uksportimports.com/catalog/fitness-equipment/elliptical-trainers?gclid=CN_39fOfkKgCFcod4QodUyL6Cw
It doesn't look extremely heavy or solid though - I don't want it to fall over if I'm too energetic! Ahh, think of the possibilities though, I could:
a) do my homework while working out on it
b) watch tv on it (although I don't have a tv in my room)
c) go on my laptop on it
d) do it when I can't sleep
e) do it first thing in the morning before I even get dressed
f) do it when I'm bored
g) do it at any odd times I want to
THAT'S IT, i neeeeeed one!
Keep going guys, you're all beautiful :)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm back for a day, then I'm going to France until Easter Sunday. It will be hot there, but I don't think I can wear a bikini - I have too many insecurities for that. Ohhhhhh my god, it's freaking summer already and I'm still not totally confident in a bikini! I NEED to get my act together. Ok, I'll eat barely anything over this holiday, and gym regularly.
Oooh, I saw an elliptical/cross trainer online for £89.00! Considering most models are well into the thousands, that's amazing! I really really want one for my room (although I have no space, ha), so I'm considering:
a) begging my parents
b) just buying my own - sure, it's my money, but it would so be worth it, right?
Here's a link, it's the one right at the bottom: http://www.uksportimports.com/catalog/fitness-equipment/elliptical-trainers?gclid=CN_39fOfkKgCFcod4QodUyL6Cw
It doesn't look extremely heavy or solid though - I don't want it to fall over if I'm too energetic! Ahh, think of the possibilities though, I could:
a) do my homework while working out on it
b) watch tv on it (although I don't have a tv in my room)
c) go on my laptop on it
d) do it when I can't sleep
e) do it first thing in the morning before I even get dressed
f) do it when I'm bored
g) do it at any odd times I want to
THAT'S IT, i neeeeeed one!
Keep going guys, you're all beautiful :)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thursday 7 April 2011
Ha-a-appy Birthday
So, today was a fat day. My Dad's birthday. I had to eat the cake and crisps and horrible horrible food. I didn't even like it! That, in my opinion, is awful - eating unhealthy food and not even liking it! Ok, if you eat something unhealthy but LOVE it, then that is marginally better, but there is absolutely NO POINT in eating unhealthy food you don't like! Worthless, horrible calories!
On a happier note, I burned 300cals on the cross trainer (elliptical) and 100cals walking quickly on the treadmill. I want a cross trainer in my bedroom - I literally wouldn't stop using it! I could watch films, do prep, read, e.t.c.. all while on the cross trainer! Perrrrrfect!
I want Ray Bans and Hunter Wellies and so many clothes! Ok, I will allow myself to order loads of clothes from Topshop if I get to 132. Deal? Yesssss.
Bella
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On a happier note, I burned 300cals on the cross trainer (elliptical) and 100cals walking quickly on the treadmill. I want a cross trainer in my bedroom - I literally wouldn't stop using it! I could watch films, do prep, read, e.t.c.. all while on the cross trainer! Perrrrrfect!
I want Ray Bans and Hunter Wellies and so many clothes! Ok, I will allow myself to order loads of clothes from Topshop if I get to 132. Deal? Yesssss.
Bella
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Wednesday 6 April 2011
The Beginning
So, my very first post :) Slightly depressing that, at the moment, I have no followers, so this post is to nobody! However, I guess I have to start somewhere!
So here is the situation. I'm on my Easter Holidays. I have given up chocolate for Lent, but that has made a fat (ha) lot of difference! I need, NEED to make some drastic changes. I've been trying so hard for the best part of a year and I managed to get down to about 126, but then I threw it all away over the Christmas Holidays. Summer is coming, and that means bikinis and shorts and tiny dresses. I can't be fat. I can't. I used to be so thin, and I just let myself go! People are beginning to see that I'm not as thin as I was before. When I'm thin, it will all make sense. If I fail anywhere else in life, at least I'll be thin. At least I won't feel like screaming when I try on my clothes.
Talking of clothes, they are one of my passions. I shop waaay too much, but only ever wear about 1/5 of my wardrobe because I feel to fat in my nicest clothes. I have loads that are a few sizes too small, so I aim to fit into them. I'm about a UK size 8/10 but I want to be 6/8. Sizes aren't really the way I'm going to measure this though.
My huge goal is a flat stomach for my bikini. I can't wear one unless I have a flat stomach! I don't have long.
At the moment I'm going to the gym every day, but soon I won't have the opportunity. I need to control the diet part better now. It's my Dad's birthday tomorrow, so we'll have a party with awful, unhealthy food. I'll barely eat breakfast or lunch, I'll just drink smoothie. Then I'll be able to eat at the party. I'll skip dinner too. I'll burn at least 400 cals at the gym. I'll drink water. Sound like a plan? Good :)
Love from your ballerina dreamer
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
So here is the situation. I'm on my Easter Holidays. I have given up chocolate for Lent, but that has made a fat (ha) lot of difference! I need, NEED to make some drastic changes. I've been trying so hard for the best part of a year and I managed to get down to about 126, but then I threw it all away over the Christmas Holidays. Summer is coming, and that means bikinis and shorts and tiny dresses. I can't be fat. I can't. I used to be so thin, and I just let myself go! People are beginning to see that I'm not as thin as I was before. When I'm thin, it will all make sense. If I fail anywhere else in life, at least I'll be thin. At least I won't feel like screaming when I try on my clothes.
Talking of clothes, they are one of my passions. I shop waaay too much, but only ever wear about 1/5 of my wardrobe because I feel to fat in my nicest clothes. I have loads that are a few sizes too small, so I aim to fit into them. I'm about a UK size 8/10 but I want to be 6/8. Sizes aren't really the way I'm going to measure this though.
My huge goal is a flat stomach for my bikini. I can't wear one unless I have a flat stomach! I don't have long.
At the moment I'm going to the gym every day, but soon I won't have the opportunity. I need to control the diet part better now. It's my Dad's birthday tomorrow, so we'll have a party with awful, unhealthy food. I'll barely eat breakfast or lunch, I'll just drink smoothie. Then I'll be able to eat at the party. I'll skip dinner too. I'll burn at least 400 cals at the gym. I'll drink water. Sound like a plan? Good :)
Love from your ballerina dreamer
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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